Archive for July, 2008

How to Balance the Light & Dark Sides of Being A Queen

July 22, 2008

Inside each woman there is a queen.  She is the ruler of her world and in complete control of her kingdom.  She is powerful in every aspect of that world; but some days, being the queen can be very hard work, especially when she has to make tough decisions in her life and work.  A queen always tries to be ‘good’, but it unfortunately it doesn’t always turn out that way.

To each queen there are two sides. In Carolyn Myss’ works on archetypes, she describes this as a ‘light’ side and a ‘dark’ side.  Debbie Ford called them simply ‘light’ and ‘shadow’, but the
concept is the same.  For each archetype there must be ‘light’ and ‘dark’, but they are actually two sides of the same coin.  We see this in our childhood fairy tales such as “The Wizard of Oz”, with characters like Glenda the Good Witch and The Wicked Witch of the West.  The verdict reached by readers of these is usually put in the context of ‘good’ and ‘bad’ in our society.

You might automatically say, “I’m Glenda!” because you choose to identify only with the ‘light’ side of this archetype.  However, there are always two sides to the coin: you cannot have one without the other.  And each side must coexist within each person.  Some attributes are more pronounced than others, but still they absolutely must be part of the same person.  This is why one person’s judgment of another can be such a harsh reflection back at times.  The very thing you find despicable about another person is merely the shadow or ‘dark’ side of yourself that you try to hide or suppress.

In the case of the queen, her ‘light’ side is benevolent, kind, generous and patient.  She wishes only that those in her kingdom be happy, peaceful and co-exist peacefully together, very much like Glenda and the land of the Munchkins.  The ‘dark’ side of the queen is forceful, mean, angry, impatient and frankly isn’t very concerned about how her actions impact the people she leads.
Those flying monkeys looked pretty miserable and beaten down, didn’t they?

Even if you are the ‘Glenda’ type, inside every ‘light’ Queen resides also the ability to become quickly angered and to be forceful when she’s scared.  She also knows that she can be very destructive at times.  The same is true for every ‘dark’ queen — she has the ability to be vulnerable and gentle, given the right circumstances.

Why is this important?  Because it’s important to identity why you come to particular conclusions about others and what may be lurking behind the scenes.  Recognizing this will help you more readily understand that which you fear the most about yourself. But there is an upside.  And that is by embracing both the ‘dark’ and the ‘light’ side of your queen-ship, you begin to understand the benefits of those shadows.  Sometimes a queen needs to be tough or fierce in negotiations.  These tools can be useful when they are balanced within the individual.  Learn to see all aspects of yourself as ‘good’ and valuable; not just what your mom told you.

About Maria:
Maria Gamb is the founder of MariaGamb.com and NMS Communications LLC.  She is an executive coach, consultant and speaker who brings her 20+ years experience as a former Fortune 500 Diva and now entrepreneur to the table.  Maria’s mission is to help women unlock their own personal leadership style and create businesses that make an impact on the world around them.  After all, we’re women, not men in skirts.  Our leadership style is uniquely our own and it’s powerful.  Visit Maria on the web at www.mariagamb.com  Sign up for the free ezine [Change Agent] and receive your free special report “The 7 Keys to Transform Your Business & Bottom Line”.

© 2008 NMS Communications, LLC All Rights Reserve

The Power of Purpose: An Unstoppable Force

July 18, 2008

Do you know the purpose behind the business that you’re creating?

To say that your purpose is to make money would be a typical statement.  However, your business is purely a vehicle for making money, but not its purpose.  A business without purpose is like someone flailing away in the mud with no real direction.  After struggling awhile to get clients so as to generate revenue, you begin to wonder: “why am I bothering?” You lose steam and abandon your dream.

When you have and know the real purpose behind your work, it then makes failure impossible.  The drive and the determination generated by that purpose creates an anchor for you in times of doubts.  “Can I really do this?”  “Am I really allowed to play THAT big?”  “Who am I to think I can do, be, or have what I want?”  It is literally the animation in your spirit that propels you forward.  It is the unstoppable beating of your heart that tells you: “No matter what, I’m going to do this!”  Failure is NOT an option because you are completely invested in your purpose.

Napoleon Hill wrote in “Think and Grow Rich:”

“A burning desire to be and to do something is the starting point from which the dreamer must take off.  Dreams are not born of indifference, laziness or lack of ambition.” 

Remember that everyone who succeeds in life gets off to a bad start and passes through many heartbreaking struggles before they “arrive” at their desired destination.  The turning point in the lives of those who succeed usually comes at the moment of some crisis, through which they are introduced to their “other selves.”

The crisis is the breaking point at which the desire becomes apparent.  And the “other selves” are our higher calling, our purpose (i.e., what you are really here to do).  Let me give you an example.

Tamika is a dynamic, high octane divorced mother of three and an entrepreneur who owns her own marketing company.  She is also an ovarian cancer survivor. That experience was so profound and life changing that she found the true purpose for her work was to inspire women to not feel like victims due to circumstances.  She could have given up.  But as she tells the story, something big welled up inside of her, and she said, “No way, this is not going to ruin my life!”  During this experience, she realized that the same principles she learned in her journey through cancer were also principles that could be applied to ANY challenge in life.

Today, she stands on a platform as one who truly empowers women to take control of their lives no matter what the obstacleAfter all, who is going to challenge a cancer survivor, right?  Her experience makes what she has to share so powerful and inspirational to others.

Tamika regularly speaks to cancer survivor groups.  Her work as a marketing maven provides the income for her to be able to do this more purposeful work both in her community and at the national level.  She blends her business smarts, survivor secrets, and overall purpose into her work with clients as well. Her purpose is completely integrated into her work and her life.

Her purpose is so powerful that it propels her forward every day as she faces her own business challenges.  This burning desire deep in her heart keeps that fire lit!  She simply will not stop because she knows the message she carries is one of great importance.  It’s life changing.  Why?  Because it was her journey too.

What is YOUR purpose?  What is that burning fire; that larger, greater issue that you are here to address?

When you are clear about your purpose, you will not stray from your path and the manifestation of your potential.  You will walk towards it with great courage, knowing that you cannot fail.

About Maria:
Maria Gamb is the founder of MariaGamb.com and NMS Communications LLC.  She is an executive coach, consultant and speaker who brings her 20+ years experience as a former Fortune 500 Diva and now entrepreneur to the table.  Maria’s mission is to help women unlock their own personal leadership style and create businesses that make an impact on the world around them.  After all, we’re women, not men in skirts.  Our leadership style is uniquely our own and it’s powerful.  Visit Maria on the web at www.mariagamb.com  Sign up for the free ezine [Change Agent] and receive your free special report “The 7 Keys to Transform Your Business & Bottom Line”.

© 2008 NMS Communications, LLC All Rights Reserve

Are You A Victim of Circumstance?

July 1, 2008

Do you feel that you are bound by the current circumstances you’re in? Or, perhaps you’re limited by what you’re experiencing? If so, I will tell you that your outward circumstances will never change until you change your interior environment – your mind and how you perceive things change. Your PERCEPTION is really just another way of saying “the glasses you view the world through” or the programming of your subconscious mind that tints every interaction you have, the words you speak, your actions and ultimately your results.

People get really upset with me when I tell them this. “Maria, you just don’t understand!” Yes, of course I do. I’ve been there. We’ve all been in that place of utter despair, feeling helpless at what looks to be the whims of others or circumstances we face.

Recently I had the pleasure of meeting Cory Booker, the Mayor of Newark, New Jersey. He told me a story that I’ve found so inspirational that I’ve been sharing it with everyone around me.

A resident of Newark, Cory returned to his native city once he graduated from Yale Law School. Speaking with this mother, he told her he had arrived to make a difference. He was full of vim, vigor and a super-hero sense of doing good. She told him, if you want to know anything about life, forget Yale and go see Miss Jones on the 5th floor of the projects. Young, arrogant Cory (his own self description; not mine) headed off to see Miss Jones. Walking down the street he passed a gang gathering and a handful of drug dealers. Through the doors to Miss Jones’ building he bounded up the 5th floor walk up and knocked on her door. Tap tap tap.

“Hello, what do you want?” came from behind the door.

“Mam, I’m Cory Booker and I’m here to save you.”

She opened the door and let him inside. “You’re here to do what?!”

He explained his position and then asked her, “What can I do to help?” She motioned him to follow her.

They went back down the darkened hallway and down the stairs through the lobby, where he later learned Miss Jones’ son was gunned down in a needless violent act. Then, they went out onto the street where they “respectfully” passed the narcotic entrepreneurs and gang members again. She stood in the middle of the street and asked, “What do you see here Cory?”

He looked around and mentioned the characters they passed and described the burned out buildings and graffiti around him. All of 5 feet tall, Miss Jones looked up at Cory and said, “You’re of no use to me. Go away.”

Running after her pleading to know why, she finally turned and said to him,”What I see here is opportunity. And unless you can learn to see that opportunity, you will never change anything.”

Embarrassed, he realized his mistake. He had to learn to look past what was in front of him and see the opportunity for greatness even in the darkest places or situations. He had to visualize the light on the other side of the tunnel.

Cory Booker is still early in his seat as Mayor of Newark. His mission statement is: “To be America’s leading urban city in safety, prosperity and nurturing of family life. Newark will set a national standard for urban transformation by marshaling its resources to achieve security, economic abundance and an environment that is nurturing and empowering for families.” (Quoted from the NYTimes)

What you might not know about Newark is that it is one of the nation’s poorest cities with a population of 275,000. One third of the children of Newark live in poverty, and less than 9% of the population has an education beyond high school. Additionally, 1 in 800 residents are hit by gunfire each year. “Staggering circumstances” would be a kind characterization of Newark.

I share that story with you because I think it highlights a very important concept you need to embrace in your own life. This is the law of polarity. Where there is darkness, there must also always be light. Heads and tails are two sides of a same coin. The same holds true for hot and cold, and good and bad. These are all examples of the law of polarity. So what young Cory was looking at was the physical signs of a city in a dire state of reformation. But Miss Jones had the ability to look forward to that potential of greatness. She saw the opportunity and the good that could come from viewing the physical situation differently. Her focus and unshakable faith was based on opportunity and not misfortune.

What are you focusing on? Take your power back and stop being a victim of your own circumstances. It is your calling as a leader to see the opportunity in your family, your community and your business rather than focusing on the negative aspects that exist. Remember, the negative cannot exist without a positive. It’s a universal law. Period.

About Maria:
Maria Gamb” The Anti-Sabotage Expert” coaches female entrepreneurs and other highly motivated professionals to overcome self sabotaging limiting beliefs about money, relationships and success by breaking free from the “security of conformity” using Universal Laws and principles. As an ex-corporate diva, now lady-preneur Maria has seen it all and heard it all! Get ready to unlock your personal prosperity potential TODAY!

© 2008 NMS Communications, LLC All Rights Reserved