How to Balance the Light & Dark Sides of Being A Queen

Inside each woman there is a queen.  She is the ruler of her world and in complete control of her kingdom.  She is powerful in every aspect of that world; but some days, being the queen can be very hard work, especially when she has to make tough decisions in her life and work.  A queen always tries to be ‘good’, but it unfortunately it doesn’t always turn out that way.

To each queen there are two sides. In Carolyn Myss’ works on archetypes, she describes this as a ‘light’ side and a ‘dark’ side.  Debbie Ford called them simply ‘light’ and ‘shadow’, but the
concept is the same.  For each archetype there must be ‘light’ and ‘dark’, but they are actually two sides of the same coin.  We see this in our childhood fairy tales such as “The Wizard of Oz”, with characters like Glenda the Good Witch and The Wicked Witch of the West.  The verdict reached by readers of these is usually put in the context of ‘good’ and ‘bad’ in our society.

You might automatically say, “I’m Glenda!” because you choose to identify only with the ‘light’ side of this archetype.  However, there are always two sides to the coin: you cannot have one without the other.  And each side must coexist within each person.  Some attributes are more pronounced than others, but still they absolutely must be part of the same person.  This is why one person’s judgment of another can be such a harsh reflection back at times.  The very thing you find despicable about another person is merely the shadow or ‘dark’ side of yourself that you try to hide or suppress.

In the case of the queen, her ‘light’ side is benevolent, kind, generous and patient.  She wishes only that those in her kingdom be happy, peaceful and co-exist peacefully together, very much like Glenda and the land of the Munchkins.  The ‘dark’ side of the queen is forceful, mean, angry, impatient and frankly isn’t very concerned about how her actions impact the people she leads.
Those flying monkeys looked pretty miserable and beaten down, didn’t they?

Even if you are the ‘Glenda’ type, inside every ‘light’ Queen resides also the ability to become quickly angered and to be forceful when she’s scared.  She also knows that she can be very destructive at times.  The same is true for every ‘dark’ queen — she has the ability to be vulnerable and gentle, given the right circumstances.

Why is this important?  Because it’s important to identity why you come to particular conclusions about others and what may be lurking behind the scenes.  Recognizing this will help you more readily understand that which you fear the most about yourself. But there is an upside.  And that is by embracing both the ‘dark’ and the ‘light’ side of your queen-ship, you begin to understand the benefits of those shadows.  Sometimes a queen needs to be tough or fierce in negotiations.  These tools can be useful when they are balanced within the individual.  Learn to see all aspects of yourself as ‘good’ and valuable; not just what your mom told you.

About Maria:
Maria Gamb is the founder of and NMS Communications LLC.  She is an executive coach, consultant and speaker who brings her 20+ years experience as a former Fortune 500 Diva and now entrepreneur to the table.  Maria’s mission is to help women unlock their own personal leadership style and create businesses that make an impact on the world around them.  After all, we’re women, not men in skirts.  Our leadership style is uniquely our own and it’s powerful.  Visit Maria on the web at  Sign up for the free ezine [Change Agent] and receive your free special report “The 7 Keys to Transform Your Business & Bottom Line”.

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