When Gurus Become Gods

Yesterday I was pretty restless so I spent several hours in the middle of the day perusing the social media world, updating my tweets and being part of the discussions that were going on.  Personally I love this aspect of social media because it helps me to see what’s really top of mind at the moment. “Great market research” as a dear friend of mine always reminds me.

I’ve noticed is that there are a lot of blog posts and articles being written about teachers, leaders and other note worthy gurus.  I guess that’s fair enough.  When you become more public and are in a position of power you ultimately open yourself up to criticism, comment and others opinions.  After all we are in a country that protects 1st amendment rights.  Free speech and all that.

What I’m seeing are a lot of people “naming names” and criticizing these people openly. They have paid fees to work with some of them.  Others have attended their educational live events or participated in some other program of one sort or another.  So there is  the element of free-will and participation in the exchange.  Actually giving permission to the teacher or leader to impart their particular form of wisdom to the attendee.  Rather than expressing any level of gratitude or appreciation I have witness some pretty severe and sometimes outlandish slamming .

Listen, I’ve paid for these types of services too and found myself less than satisfied but you know what? I made the choice to participate by handing over my credit card.  So it’s my choice. My free will. My money.  Sometimes I wish I hadn’t.  But who is to blame?  No one but me.  It was a choice that I made.

Often times we make these Gurus into Gods.  Hanging on every word. Wishing for them to impart the perfect solution to whatever is going on.  Is that realistic? I think not.  So I offer these 7 things to keep in mind about any guru, teach, mentor, coach or leader in your life.

1. When a person stands in front of you and professes their truth it is their truth. Their wisdom.  From their point of view and life experience.  It does not mean that it is “the truth” or “the only truth” that exists.

2.   Everyone is entitled to an opinion. When an opinion become a need to “be right” and to make others “wrong” that’s a competitive signal. Meaning “I’m better than her/him”.

3.   Take what you need from this person and forget the rest. Not everything they say and do will resonate with you.  Nor should it.  You’re your own person.  It’s like saying everyone likes vanilla ice cream.  (I personally prefer gelato not ice cream and the flavor of choice is nocciola)

4.   No one Guru has the end all be all answer to your problem.

5.   They WILL say something you don’t like or want to hear. It’s inevitable. Sometimes that’s actually why they are in your life.

6.   They cannot always control their guests, staff statements or opinions. People are people and are unpredictable at times.

7.   Any and every teacher makes mistakes or missteps.  Usually at one point or another they may make a correction or amend a previous error.  They are human and should be permitted for possessing a less-than-perfect character.

Ultimately it is up to you to make decisions for yourself. It is about taking personal responsibility for your actions and outcomes. You are not a victim unless you choose to be.

When you make a Guru a God, that means to ask them to perfect, to have every solution to every problem you’ve given away your personal power and choice.

If you are not in alignment with any Guru, teacher, mentor, coach or leader in your life then move on.

If you do not resonate with what they teach, move on.

And most of all, if you really find what they offer so outlandish then stop supporting them with your attendance and credit card swipes.

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9 Responses to “When Gurus Become Gods”

  1. Carrie Wilkerson Says:

    Wow – stated so elegantly!

    Right on target too!

    Just like our significant ‘others’ — no one ASSIGNED them to us – we CHOSE them 😉

    Thanks for your insight!

    Carrie Wilkerson
    The Barefoot Executive ™

  2. Elisabeth Manning Says:

    FABULOUS. Thank you so much. I tell this to all my clients but you really tell it like it is. I appreciate this clarity in another person, thank you.

  3. Peggie Says:

    Well said. I think many (if not all) of these various gurus (or not) also offer money back guarantees. So I’d say if someone was REALLY sorry they’d traded their time and credit card for the experience – they should have followed the money-back guidelines and moved on.

    No one, no matter how loved and esteemed, has a magic pill, bullet or whatever to every thing one needs/wants in their life. That is, except for the seeker. We have our own best answers if we’d tap into our own diving guidance and LISTEN and ACT and move forward. Sometimes we need teachers/leaders/mentors to inspire us to hear that still small voice within, no?

    Hugs Maria and thanks for putting your voice out there – with truth and laughter.


  4. Peggie Says:

    um, I meant “Divine” guidance…although diving guidance sounds fun too.

  5. mariagamb Says:

    Carrie you are so right…we choose them! They are here in our lives for a reason and sometimes the not so great experience is the lesson.

    Great point Peggy. Thanks for that too!

  6. debkorte Says:

    After following many gurus I found some sound advice in your blog. I especially like…take what you like and leave the rest. I will share this one.
    DebKorte…Igniting Possibilities

  7. mariagamb Says:

    Terrific feedback everyone!
    I think it’s important for people to realize that they are in control of their decisions, their actions and the subsequent outcomes. You can allow yourself to be guided but it’s important to take responsibility for the choices you make based on that guidance.

    There are terrific teachers, mentors and gurus out there. I hold fast to #3 Take what you need and leave the rest. So important to be discerning.

  8. Mary Denaro Says:

    Great insights! Thank you! I agree completely! It’s all about finding your own truths … also listening to your own inner signals … your intuition. No one has the answers for you … except you.

    And as a coach, a teacher, trainer, leader I can inspire you and guide you … lead you back to your own truths …to your own responsibility … to your own inner voice … so that you remember who you are!

    Isn’t that why we are all here?

    One of my favorite spiritual teachers often started the class with a simple visualization: Imagine a waste paper basket out in front of you … and whatever I say that is not true for you, goes into the waste paper basket. ; )

    Maria, I love your clarity!

  9. mariagamb Says:

    Mary I love the waste paper basket idea! That’s such a great way to express the importance of people in the room being responsible for what they “take away” from the teaching/learning period. Thanks for sharing!

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