Posts Tagged ‘bully’

Are You A Lipstick Bully?

September 4, 2009

Most believe that competitiveness in business is an activity associated with the male population.  Women, the loving, nurturing souls that we are couldn’t possibly take part in this activity, right? This is, in fact not so.  You might be surprised to learn that in a recent study 40% of the bullies in the professional arena are women.  Their target? 70% of the time it’s other women!  Shocking, isn’t it?!

As the perception of the current economic situation tightens the level of competitiveness has skyrocketed.  In general people have been feeling that there simply isn’t enough to go around and that they must fight and compete to keep their position.

The correct interpretation of “competition” is to take something away from another person before they can get it.  However, the caveat of competitiveness is that if you are someone who is doing the utmost to “take” from another then be warned, it will ultimately be “taken” from you.  This is an example of how the Law of Cause and Effect can operate in a negative manner.

This is the vicious cycle of competition.  Once you’re in it, it literally feeds on itself as the fear to win at any cost by pummeling your opponent takes over.  This is the ego in full force driving you to compromise your values and take actions that you may not, on a normal day participate in.  It is the belief that there is not enough to go around and you must get yours before someone else does.

While there are some very obvious behaviors of a bully whose goal it is to squash their competition, women have a very special, almost soft way of delivering the blows;

  1. Implying gender stereotypes
  2. Glaring at one another in a hostile manner
  3. Giving others the silent treatment
  4. Rude or disrespectful treatment
  5. Perpetuating false rumors

Other more direct manifestations are blatant threats to destroy another persons credibility and a very obvious aggressive approach in delivering any point they are making.

When one engages in the competitive cycle they literally spend more time looking over their shoulder rather than looking forward to creating and collaborating together. It is a waste of time and energy for all parties.

We are asked to spend more time creating rather than competing with one another.  When one is in the creative process, more opportunities arise, not less.  Doors begin to open and something new and magical can come of joint efforts. 

Collaboration is the kryptonite for competitiveness. This is applicable for all genders.
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