Posts Tagged ‘women leaders’

Stop Focusing on What You Don’t Have!

September 2, 2010

We have enormous amounts of money, resources, and power within our businesses.
Most of us are far wealthier in terms of material goods than many in the world. Although we rarely acknowledge and appreciate what we do have.

How quick are we to tell ourselves a story of all that we lack?
How many of us feel we have nothing to share, but in fact who we are and what means we do have is so abundant?

In trying times, we tend to hyper focus on the exterior situation rather than the interior climate. As you continue to shift your consciousness, choosing to alter your beliefs so they are in sync with the core values of your higher self, your interior climate will change. It has no choice but to follow.

Remember, the starting point for healing all relationships: business and professional starts with YOU. You’re the common denominator after all : D

Advertisements

When Gurus Become Gods

November 12, 2009

Yesterday I was pretty restless so I spent several hours in the middle of the day perusing the social media world, updating my tweets and being part of the discussions that were going on.  Personally I love this aspect of social media because it helps me to see what’s really top of mind at the moment. “Great market research” as a dear friend of mine always reminds me.

I’ve noticed is that there are a lot of blog posts and articles being written about teachers, leaders and other note worthy gurus.  I guess that’s fair enough.  When you become more public and are in a position of power you ultimately open yourself up to criticism, comment and others opinions.  After all we are in a country that protects 1st amendment rights.  Free speech and all that.

What I’m seeing are a lot of people “naming names” and criticizing these people openly. They have paid fees to work with some of them.  Others have attended their educational live events or participated in some other program of one sort or another.  So there is  the element of free-will and participation in the exchange.  Actually giving permission to the teacher or leader to impart their particular form of wisdom to the attendee.  Rather than expressing any level of gratitude or appreciation I have witness some pretty severe and sometimes outlandish slamming .

Listen, I’ve paid for these types of services too and found myself less than satisfied but you know what? I made the choice to participate by handing over my credit card.  So it’s my choice. My free will. My money.  Sometimes I wish I hadn’t.  But who is to blame?  No one but me.  It was a choice that I made.

Often times we make these Gurus into Gods.  Hanging on every word. Wishing for them to impart the perfect solution to whatever is going on.  Is that realistic? I think not.  So I offer these 7 things to keep in mind about any guru, teach, mentor, coach or leader in your life.

1. When a person stands in front of you and professes their truth it is their truth. Their wisdom.  From their point of view and life experience.  It does not mean that it is “the truth” or “the only truth” that exists.

2.   Everyone is entitled to an opinion. When an opinion become a need to “be right” and to make others “wrong” that’s a competitive signal. Meaning “I’m better than her/him”.

3.   Take what you need from this person and forget the rest. Not everything they say and do will resonate with you.  Nor should it.  You’re your own person.  It’s like saying everyone likes vanilla ice cream.  (I personally prefer gelato not ice cream and the flavor of choice is nocciola)

4.   No one Guru has the end all be all answer to your problem.

5.   They WILL say something you don’t like or want to hear. It’s inevitable. Sometimes that’s actually why they are in your life.

6.   They cannot always control their guests, staff statements or opinions. People are people and are unpredictable at times.

7.   Any and every teacher makes mistakes or missteps.  Usually at one point or another they may make a correction or amend a previous error.  They are human and should be permitted for possessing a less-than-perfect character.

Ultimately it is up to you to make decisions for yourself. It is about taking personal responsibility for your actions and outcomes. You are not a victim unless you choose to be.

When you make a Guru a God, that means to ask them to perfect, to have every solution to every problem you’ve given away your personal power and choice.

If you are not in alignment with any Guru, teacher, mentor, coach or leader in your life then move on.

If you do not resonate with what they teach, move on.

And most of all, if you really find what they offer so outlandish then stop supporting them with your attendance and credit card swipes.

What Illusions Are You Buying Into?

September 17, 2008

Over the weekend we were inundated with the news of yet more financial institutions teetering on the verge of bankruptcy.  It makes me wonder what the heck is going on around here!  This morning I sat having coffee with my resident expert and ex-CFO of a Wall Street firm, discussing how such situations can and are occurring on a regular basis. 

“Well, it’s simple” he tells me “This problem reflects peoples’ perception of value.  There are no real grounds for value at this time.  The banking institutions have over valued things like the housing market and made loans against a false value.”  He was simplifying the matter to illustrate the point. 

“So you’re telling me that it has all been one giant illusion?” I asked him.  He smiled at me over his glasses and said, “Well, yes, you could say that.”  I raised an eyebrow.  “So in essence, the veil is being lifted on all of this?”  To which he replied, “Exactly, and it’s completely putting people in a tailspin.”

Very interesting words!  As my tutorial on economics and the state of our financial institutions continued, it made me think more about this illusion or rather disillusioned state we all have been living in. Are we sleep-walking? You have to wonder, what kind of illusions are we buying into every day of our lives?

You are making an investment wherever you place your attention and focus.  That investment comes in terms of time, energy and activity.  That investment shows what you value. Is that an investment in something that is real?

Given the current world and national events, we’re all being given a wake up call.  It’s truly a shake up.  What illusions have we bought into that make us act like lemmings that follow one another off a cliff?  This not only pertains to the business sector but our private lives as well.  I have noticed more divorces transpiring than ever before.  Something has changed.  We’re becoming more aware of what we thought was real and of value is not actually something we find valuable anymore.  They are the values and illusions of others.  We’re waking up.

Here’s the exciting part.  Now that the veil is being lifted around these illusions, we are in a time of great reinvention.  People are beginning to ask themselves how they really want to do business, live their life, and be in relationship with each other.  We are redefining what’s truly important.  The ‘cookie cutter’ and ‘one size fits all’ days are over.  After all, when the illusion of what you have always known and believed comes crashing down and shatters all over the floor, what else is there to do but start over?

When the old ways (illusions) cease to work, it’s time to let go and allow the universe to carry you to the next great idea and the best way to achieve it.  Just loosen your grip a little, be patient and the guidance will come to you.

I urge you to be brave.  Show your courage by truly BEING in the way that is most authentic to YOU rather than just DOING. Your time, energy and activities are an investment.  These are a reflection of what you value.  Invest wisely.

About Maria:
Maria Gamb is the founder of MariaGamb.com and NMS Communications LLC.  She is an executive coach, consultant and speaker who brings her 20+ years experience as a former Fortune 500 Diva and now entrepreneur to the table.  Maria’s mission is to help women unlock their own personal leadership style and create businesses that make an impact on the world around them.  After all, we’re women, not men in skirts.  Our leadership style is uniquely our own and it’s powerful.  Visit Maria on the web at www.mariagamb.com  Sign up for the free ezine [Change Agent] and receive your free special report “The 7 Keys to Transform Your Business & Bottom Line”.

Are You Distracted By Bright Shiny Objects?

August 4, 2008

Every now and again, just once in a lucky while, opportunities seem to present themselves in a veritable landslide.  You look left and your path is strewn with opportunities.  Look right, and there are yet more choices.  Meanwhile, right in front of you, in front of your very nose, there are still more opportunities.  What’s more, all look equally exciting – each a beautiful shiny gem, gleaming with possibility!

When a myriad of opportunities present themselves like this, it can be really powerful, especially if you have just come out of a dry spell when nothing in your world seemed to be moving or working.  We’ve all experienced a time in our lives – what I like to call an “incubation” period – when we are regrouping and reconsidering much of our business and personal lives.  This is often the precursor to a major shift in life and now is the time to make the decisions about what you really want and need out of life.

Take, for example, one of my most amazing clients who I worked with just this week.  She kept saying things like: “This door has just opened for me.  I was contacted for a TV interview.  I have an editor banging on my door.  I have been given an amazing opportunity for a new product off-shoot and packaging idea.  But I also have this chance to collaborate with another professional woman to launch another arm of my business.  I was thinking I could do… and maybe I could also start…”  In the middle of this monologue, pausing to take a deep breath, she looked at me and we both burst out laughing.  “Wow!” I exclaimed.  “You’re going to be really busy again.”  “Again” being the operative word – her previous pace had nearly put her in an early grave at 38 years old.  “Is this really what you want?”  I asked.  A long pause…  “No, I want my life,” she responded.  “But I also want professional success.  I love my work!  How do I balance this?  How do I choose when I want to do it all?”

Aside from the obvious learning here that you do have to choose what is most important to you, perhaps even more significant is knowing that there actually always are a number of opportunities right in front of you.  It’s just a matter of being open to seeing them.  Of course, at times, the PAUSE button may be on while you regroup, but there truly is never a shortage of opportunities.  What this means is that if you don’t take one opportunity, another will present itself – you need not be afraid of missing out.

To backtrack, however, it really is important that you are ruthless about how you decide to spend your time.  The best way to do this is to deploy the “4 Question Method” of decision making.  Take any given opportunity and ask yourself:

1)       Is this something I want to be, do or have?
2)       Is this going to take me closer to my goal?
3)       Is this in harmony with the laws of the universe?
4)       Is this going to violate the rights of others? 

You are looking for an emphatic “YES” to the first three questions and a “NO” to the last.  This will help you clear the clutter around you and become laser-focused on achieving your end goal.  And even though some projects may seem fun or interesting, if not exactly in alignment with your end goal, you might want to pass on them and focus on what will get you where you want to go.  The only exception to this is if your gut is telling you it’s something you really need to take a look at.  You never know what can come of it.

Finally, keep dreaming, but stay focused on your goals… otherwise you’re liable to get distracted by all those bright shiny objects around you!

About Maria:
Maria Gamb is the founder of MariaGamb.com and NMS Communications LLC.  She is an executive coach, consultant and speaker who brings her 20+ years experience as a former Fortune 500 Diva and now entrepreneur to the table.  Maria’s mission is to help women unlock their own personal leadership style and create businesses that make an impact on the world around them.  After all, we’re women, not men in skirts.  Our leadership style is uniquely our own and it’s powerful.  Visit Maria on the web at www.mariagamb.com  Sign up for the free ezine [Change Agent] and receive your free special report “The 7 Keys to Transform Your Business & Bottom Line”.

How to Balance the Light & Dark Sides of Being A Queen

July 22, 2008

Inside each woman there is a queen.  She is the ruler of her world and in complete control of her kingdom.  She is powerful in every aspect of that world; but some days, being the queen can be very hard work, especially when she has to make tough decisions in her life and work.  A queen always tries to be ‘good’, but it unfortunately it doesn’t always turn out that way.

To each queen there are two sides. In Carolyn Myss’ works on archetypes, she describes this as a ‘light’ side and a ‘dark’ side.  Debbie Ford called them simply ‘light’ and ‘shadow’, but the
concept is the same.  For each archetype there must be ‘light’ and ‘dark’, but they are actually two sides of the same coin.  We see this in our childhood fairy tales such as “The Wizard of Oz”, with characters like Glenda the Good Witch and The Wicked Witch of the West.  The verdict reached by readers of these is usually put in the context of ‘good’ and ‘bad’ in our society.

You might automatically say, “I’m Glenda!” because you choose to identify only with the ‘light’ side of this archetype.  However, there are always two sides to the coin: you cannot have one without the other.  And each side must coexist within each person.  Some attributes are more pronounced than others, but still they absolutely must be part of the same person.  This is why one person’s judgment of another can be such a harsh reflection back at times.  The very thing you find despicable about another person is merely the shadow or ‘dark’ side of yourself that you try to hide or suppress.

In the case of the queen, her ‘light’ side is benevolent, kind, generous and patient.  She wishes only that those in her kingdom be happy, peaceful and co-exist peacefully together, very much like Glenda and the land of the Munchkins.  The ‘dark’ side of the queen is forceful, mean, angry, impatient and frankly isn’t very concerned about how her actions impact the people she leads.
Those flying monkeys looked pretty miserable and beaten down, didn’t they?

Even if you are the ‘Glenda’ type, inside every ‘light’ Queen resides also the ability to become quickly angered and to be forceful when she’s scared.  She also knows that she can be very destructive at times.  The same is true for every ‘dark’ queen — she has the ability to be vulnerable and gentle, given the right circumstances.

Why is this important?  Because it’s important to identity why you come to particular conclusions about others and what may be lurking behind the scenes.  Recognizing this will help you more readily understand that which you fear the most about yourself. But there is an upside.  And that is by embracing both the ‘dark’ and the ‘light’ side of your queen-ship, you begin to understand the benefits of those shadows.  Sometimes a queen needs to be tough or fierce in negotiations.  These tools can be useful when they are balanced within the individual.  Learn to see all aspects of yourself as ‘good’ and valuable; not just what your mom told you.

About Maria:
Maria Gamb is the founder of MariaGamb.com and NMS Communications LLC.  She is an executive coach, consultant and speaker who brings her 20+ years experience as a former Fortune 500 Diva and now entrepreneur to the table.  Maria’s mission is to help women unlock their own personal leadership style and create businesses that make an impact on the world around them.  After all, we’re women, not men in skirts.  Our leadership style is uniquely our own and it’s powerful.  Visit Maria on the web at www.mariagamb.com  Sign up for the free ezine [Change Agent] and receive your free special report “The 7 Keys to Transform Your Business & Bottom Line”.

© 2008 NMS Communications, LLC All Rights Reserve

The Power of Purpose: An Unstoppable Force

July 18, 2008

Do you know the purpose behind the business that you’re creating?

To say that your purpose is to make money would be a typical statement.  However, your business is purely a vehicle for making money, but not its purpose.  A business without purpose is like someone flailing away in the mud with no real direction.  After struggling awhile to get clients so as to generate revenue, you begin to wonder: “why am I bothering?” You lose steam and abandon your dream.

When you have and know the real purpose behind your work, it then makes failure impossible.  The drive and the determination generated by that purpose creates an anchor for you in times of doubts.  “Can I really do this?”  “Am I really allowed to play THAT big?”  “Who am I to think I can do, be, or have what I want?”  It is literally the animation in your spirit that propels you forward.  It is the unstoppable beating of your heart that tells you: “No matter what, I’m going to do this!”  Failure is NOT an option because you are completely invested in your purpose.

Napoleon Hill wrote in “Think and Grow Rich:”

“A burning desire to be and to do something is the starting point from which the dreamer must take off.  Dreams are not born of indifference, laziness or lack of ambition.” 

Remember that everyone who succeeds in life gets off to a bad start and passes through many heartbreaking struggles before they “arrive” at their desired destination.  The turning point in the lives of those who succeed usually comes at the moment of some crisis, through which they are introduced to their “other selves.”

The crisis is the breaking point at which the desire becomes apparent.  And the “other selves” are our higher calling, our purpose (i.e., what you are really here to do).  Let me give you an example.

Tamika is a dynamic, high octane divorced mother of three and an entrepreneur who owns her own marketing company.  She is also an ovarian cancer survivor. That experience was so profound and life changing that she found the true purpose for her work was to inspire women to not feel like victims due to circumstances.  She could have given up.  But as she tells the story, something big welled up inside of her, and she said, “No way, this is not going to ruin my life!”  During this experience, she realized that the same principles she learned in her journey through cancer were also principles that could be applied to ANY challenge in life.

Today, she stands on a platform as one who truly empowers women to take control of their lives no matter what the obstacleAfter all, who is going to challenge a cancer survivor, right?  Her experience makes what she has to share so powerful and inspirational to others.

Tamika regularly speaks to cancer survivor groups.  Her work as a marketing maven provides the income for her to be able to do this more purposeful work both in her community and at the national level.  She blends her business smarts, survivor secrets, and overall purpose into her work with clients as well. Her purpose is completely integrated into her work and her life.

Her purpose is so powerful that it propels her forward every day as she faces her own business challenges.  This burning desire deep in her heart keeps that fire lit!  She simply will not stop because she knows the message she carries is one of great importance.  It’s life changing.  Why?  Because it was her journey too.

What is YOUR purpose?  What is that burning fire; that larger, greater issue that you are here to address?

When you are clear about your purpose, you will not stray from your path and the manifestation of your potential.  You will walk towards it with great courage, knowing that you cannot fail.

About Maria:
Maria Gamb is the founder of MariaGamb.com and NMS Communications LLC.  She is an executive coach, consultant and speaker who brings her 20+ years experience as a former Fortune 500 Diva and now entrepreneur to the table.  Maria’s mission is to help women unlock their own personal leadership style and create businesses that make an impact on the world around them.  After all, we’re women, not men in skirts.  Our leadership style is uniquely our own and it’s powerful.  Visit Maria on the web at www.mariagamb.com  Sign up for the free ezine [Change Agent] and receive your free special report “The 7 Keys to Transform Your Business & Bottom Line”.

© 2008 NMS Communications, LLC All Rights Reserve